Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliewool
An obsession called... WORK!
I devoted way WAY too much time to starting up and running a business.
Thinking back, this “obsession” was probably at it’s peak during the early years of my kids growing up!
There’s no doubt my ex virtually raised our 2 almost as a single parent...
Any devotion to family time was almost nonexistent on my part.
I also lost my Dad in 1999, when my kids were little. This had a pretty profound effect on me, thinking back.
I retreated into myself for a long time, with communication between us probably at a minimum! No idea why I couldn’t open up to her?
I also took on a few overseas projects that sometimes resulted in me being away months at a time.
Great “earners”, and upgraded the family home, and bought us both new vehicles.
Unfortunately material things do NOT make the relationship!
I think I treated our marriage more like a business partnership, with me bringing in the bucks and expecting her to raise the kids, look after the household etc?
The breakdown WAS a great learning curve for me though?
I think I’m a better person for it... I’m a lot more tolerant, I am a hell of a lot more aware of my partners feelings... And I learnt that ALL else is secondary to immediate family (especially work!)
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Yeap, the modern catch 22.
I have recently taken a small side ways step to allow my wife to concentrate on her work. Im still away from home 12 hours of the day, dont see the kids in the morning but atleast I am home every night.
4 years prior I worked DIDO, away Monday-Friday and missed alot. Its been an adjustment coming home for everyone but I feel that if I didnt do it now it would be too late. No point having kids if you dont see them.
Its a choice you have to make, kids when they are young need bulk $$ so as a parent you chase the best buck you can get. Our society is so gear for materialistic assets, housing is not cheap, childcare is rooted (finally out of that after putting 4 kids through it) and the list goes on.
But we as society have created this monster, I honestly think we need to start pulling back but you need EVERYONE to do the same.
There is a small movement for a 4 day working week, I think that would make a small difference. Or..depending on your role, working some hours that suit the school times better.
The failing of our extended families also puts strain on raising kids, only in the last 2 years I have had one grandparent around which has allowed us to make 2 careers work. Otherwise no chance, it would be before & after school care etc.
I dont have the answers, but we have gone way to hard on working like slaves just to house and educate the kids. Two massively important factors in building a better society...but it aint easy.