Quote:
Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy
Hi Guys,
I havent been on here for a while and thats because ive had problems with my wife of late.
I keep very active lots of walking, my work keeps me fit as i now work in the Cleaning industry and have done for nearly 3 years.
My wifes on Medication and she's put on a stack of weight. I was and i am still worried about her weight and told her so many times and all i get back " i will do something about it" which hasnt happened.
She sees a Doctor in Sydney once a month but not a GP and this month cancelled her face to face appointment and instead had a tele conference with her.
Any how i hope you guys are doing good and looking after yourselves and its always nice to read your posts.
cheers
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Just my two bob's worth MMG, and I may be reading between the lines too much here and have the wrong end of the stick, and if so, I apologise. Is it the medication that's adding to your wife's weight issue? It's often a side effect for many medications. If so, then telling her she has a weight problem may not be the solution. What you need to do is find out what motivates
her. Clearly pointing out there's an issue is not the answer. Perhaps she is feeling down because of having to be on the medication. Perhaps she knows about the weight gain issue and is embarrassed to be seen out in public because of it. Finding out why she is reluctant to do anything about it is the key here. Once you know what the barriers are, you can then propose solutions that work around those and put her in to a position that she is comfortable with.
One approach you can use is to talk to her calmly (right place, right time) about the subject and ask her as to how she feels about it. Is she concerned about it? If she is, then you can ask her what support you can provide her that will help her. That gives her the option of telling you what she feels she needs, rather than having it told to her by someone she feels may not know how she is feeling. Be supportive through this process and don't judge her at all, as she may shut down completely if she feels you are. Explain to her that you are concerned about her well being (both physically and mentally) and that you just want to discuss it with her to see what you can do to help her. be compassionate and express that openly.
Another option you have is to speak to her doctor. Her doctor is not likely to disclose any of your wife's issues due to patient confidentiality, but you can discuss with her your concerns. The doctor can then ask the questions I've outlined above, and then can make some suggestions to your wife about to how to go about managing the issues. The doctor won't be able to tell you any of this tho, again due to confidentiality.
The mental health first aid course I did uses the pneumonic ALGEE to assist with mental health issues:
A pproach the person, assess and assist with any crisis
L isten and communicate non-judgementally
G ive support and information
E ncourage the person to get appropriate professional help
E ncourage other supports
This is the basis for the advice I've given and seems to be a good model for you to follow in your case.
It's not an easy process you are going through, mate, but I wish you and your wife the best. Remember, you're doing this because you care. Don't give up caring and make sure you express your level of care to your wife. She needs the support at the moment and if she feels like she's being forced into something she doesn't like or feel comfortable with, she'll resist. if your wife knows you care, then there's a good chance that you'll make it through this together.
I hope that some of this, at least, is of use. Good luck!