[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Found out today that my father has colon cancer.

He has probably seen doctors over the last few months than he has in his entire life, in other words he hates doctors and will faint at the sight of a needle. So, I'm proud of his bravery.

I'm both upset and unsurprised at the same time. He's been unwell for a while, doing his best to hide it from me. He normally doesn't like to talk about this sort of thing, which has sort of stopped me from asking questions. He went into hospital this Monday to have it removed, apparently, it's been caught early before and may not require chemo. I took today off, the week has been stressful, and I wanted to be available to pick him up from hospital without having to worry about getting back to selling someone another bloody pot plant. He's been my rock and taken me to countless appointments and procedures as I chased my own health issues, I had to be there for him.

I think a combination of having my head in the sand and those around me not speaking about it led to only discovering the truth this morning. Originally, I was told they were removing some non-cancerous lumps, so I guess I left it at that. I feel like a horrible son, I should have asked, should have talked more. I feel ashamed of myself for not being more present, despite being a chin-up sort of man, he would have been terrified. I feel like I have failed him.

Don't be hard on yourself, DFB. First off, it's pretty clear you've got a lot on your plate at the moment and that your Dad decided he didn't want to tell you about his situation. Perhaps that's part of the reason why. If he didn't want you to know, I'm sure he would have done so with good intentions.

Secondly, nows the time to focus on your dad. I lost my dad to cancer when he was 63. I look back on the time I had with him once he'd been diagnosed, and there's definitely things I'd change. But, I'll never have that chance.

I hope your dad is OK, and I certainly wish him all the best, but you need to make the best opportunity of spending time with your dad. For both your sakes. The way you're feeling is natural, but I think it would be good for you if you ficussed on spending time with your dad.

All the best to both you and your dad.