[Yellow_Festiva]

Geeze... where do I start.....

"3rd gear in the automatico is for the freeway only, if you get to 3rd you are driving too fast".

"Jason, find me a goats for the backyard to eating the grass down. What? They want $170, they used to be $30".

"Hello Mr Jason's dad says the NRMA person (after attending due to flat battery) - your car battery is 14 years old!" He replies "Very good, it cost me $59, sell me anothawon the exactly same as my old one".

"Dad, your rear tyres are almost bald". His reply "Whadayatalkingabout - they still have rubber! Will new ones make the car go faster?"

"What the bloodyhell you doing!! Minkya, you were meant to give away to the right at the round a bowt".

The fuzz pull my dad over "Hello mr Jason's dad, it appears your tow ball is covering your number plate, I will need to give you a warning". He smartly replies "Whats wrong with you - I been driving like that 20 ears... no pr1k eva stopped me before.. how old you are anyway"?

Police officer proceeds to write up a ticked for several hundred dollars for bald tyres, frayed seat belt, blown headlight, obstructed plate....

Dad arranged to buy a ride on lawn mower from a place that opens at 7:30am. Apparently told the shop owner to "Come early because I gottooa taken the kids to school afta".
We get there 6:30am... wait in the car till 7:25 when the guy shows up. Dad blows his stack that he didn't come early - guy replies - yes I did, 5 min early! Of course, do you think dad ever bloody specified a time frame as to what early is?

25 years ago he pulled my old pair of Colorado boots out of the bin. Still wears them to this day in the garden...

Dad was cutting up some steel with the grinder - (guard removed of course). Slices his finger to the bone - blood going everywhere. "Hey Jason, get me a tissue and a bandaid, and don't tel your blo0dymudda".

God more will come to me....