Depression, Anxiety

[Citroënbender]

I read the NSW Police media updates most days, partly to see what they’re thinking (per official comments) and partly to get an idea of what is actually going on in their sphere of activity.

Since late December, there appears to have been an uptick in the number of men going missing, most aged between early forties and later fifties, followed by a body being found with “no suspicious circumstances”. It’s quite sad in a way.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by Citroënbender

I read the NSW Police media updates most days, partly to see what they’re thinking (per official comments) and partly to get an idea of what is actually going on in their sphere of activity.

Since late December, there appears to have been an uptick in the number of men going missing, most aged between early forties and later fifties, followed by a body being found with “no suspicious circumstances”. It’s quite sad in a way.

Heart breaking to hear. To think some of us here could have added to that number if it wasn't for this thread.

I thank everyone here who has shared and been able to talk about stuff, whether to get it off their chest, rant, or just feel as though they need to speak to someone. Some of us guys don't get the opportunity to talk to people IRL or are too afraid to for fear of repercussions or rejections. As someone in their late 40's, I have found this thread just to read and share feelings to be helpful.

I hope we can continue to upbuild each other to continue on and make others guys aware that they are not alone.

Keep checking in on one another even in message form.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by blueoval

I thank everyone here who has shared and been able to talk about stuff, whether to get it off their chest, rant, or just feel as though they need to speak to someone. Some of us guys don't get the opportunity to talk to people IRL or are too afraid to for fear of repercussions or rejections. As someone in their late 40's, I have found this thread just to read and share feelings to be helpful.

I hope we can continue to upbuild each other to continue on and make others guys aware that they are not alone.

I'm surrounded by men who hide every emotion rather than let it out. For men, it's the fear of being seen as weak or a whinger. If a man is speaking out about mental health, its just something most men don't want to listen to, in other words suck it up, paint on a smile and suffer in silence so you don't ruin my day too.

Just my observations.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I'm surrounded by men who hide every emotion rather than let it out. For men, it's the fear of being seen as weak or a whinger. If a man is speaking out about mental health, its just something most men don't want to listen to, in other words suck it up, paint on a smile and suffer in silence so you don't ruin my day too.

Just my observations.

You're right Deyon. This attitude could be the downfall for some. While I understand the whole 'suck it up' approach can be useful for a lot of things in a man's life. It shouldn't be for men who are struggling with battles much bigger than them. It's funny how even a listening ear can even make a difference to a guy who just needs someone to be a sound board.

[b0son]

Originally Posted by Citroënbender

Since late December, there appears to have been an uptick in the number of men going missing, most aged between early forties and later fifties, followed by a body being found with “no suspicious circumstances”. It’s quite sad in a way.

Not surprising.... xmas is a stressful time, especially if you're alone due to a family breakup.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by b0son

Not surprising.... xmas is a stressful time, especially if you're alone due to a family breakup.

It's especially stressful when you see so many people getting ready and excited about that time of the year, but know the reality is completely different for you.

[Interceptor]

Originally Posted by Citroënbender

I read the NSW Police media updates most days, partly to see what they’re thinking (per official comments)

In Queensland, the very unofficial line is that if they're called to any kind of event where someone is showing any kind of mental instability whatsoever (even if its caused by the sheer presence of the police) they will either take you to the local hospital for evaluation by the "mental health professionals" voluntarily, or you go in cuffs. Simply put, if you're not all sunshine and rainbows, you're screwed.

Why? "Because we're not qualified to make that call, and if we dont take you to the professionals and something happens later, then it makes us look bad."

I wish it was a joke, but it isnt.

[DFB FGXR6]

I'm reading a novel at the moment that is dragging up some extremely painful memories. One that I really should stop reading for the sake of my own self, but I need to ride it out.

While the author listed trigger warnings at the beginning, I didn't put much thought into it. In particular, a car accident and subsequent death of a close friend, then quite graphic descriptions of suicidal depression and self-destruction that followed that event.

In the first months of high school, I had a feud going with this guy in my home group. For whatever reason, he and I butted heads. But................we ended up best friends. Even the teachers couldn't figure that one out.

We were each other's shadow, both of us hardly popular, so we had each other's back. Both of us had heath struggles, me with diabetes and he with ADHD. We were both in the school theater production, not me on stage though as I was into the technical side. We would spend weekends at each other's house, camping, learning to drive a car and motorbike.

One day, he and his mother surprised me by announcing that he was leaving school to work for his uncle as an apprentice diesel mechanic. That had always been the plan for him, I guess he wanted to waste no time getting started, while I was happy to go to the end of year 12. We then began living in different worlds and drifted apart. Working 9 to 5 under a truck and covered in oil was miles apart from studying, writing English essays and the horticulture and woodworking I was pursuing. After that, and after I finished school, we would cross paths, but only here and there.

I will never forget the random Saturday afternoon when one of my other mates turned up unannounced. I was chirpy, but he was solum and insisted I sit down. I asked why, only to be told of the horrible car accident that claimed my former best friend's life. I can't remember the details though, other than the car rolled and claimed him instantly, his immaculate and hard-earned green VS Commodore a write off. The funeral came and went, I can barely remember it. We would have been 19 or 20 at the time, I'm 37 now.

I have never really spoken about this since. The nightmares and dreams continue to haunt me though, causing me to relive what I lost over and over. Likewise reading this bloody book. If there is a positive, I guess the book prompted me to finally vent this from my system.

[prktkljokr]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I'm reading a novel at the moment that is dragging up some extremely painful memories. One that I really should stop reading for the sake of my own self, but I need to ride it out.

While the author listed trigger warnings at the beginning, I didn't put much thought into it. In particular, a car accident and subsequent death of a close friend, then quite graphic descriptions of suicidal depression and self-destruction that followed that event.

In the first months of high school, I had a feud going with this guy in my home group. For whatever reason, he and I butted heads. But................we ended up best friends. Even the teachers couldn't figure that one out.

We were each other's shadow, both of us hardly popular, so we had each other's back. Both of us had heath struggles, me with diabetes and he with ADHD. We were both in the school theater production, not me on stage though as I was into the technical side. We would spend weekends at each other's house, camping, learning to drive a car and motorbike.

One day, he and his mother surprised me by announcing that he was leaving school to work for his uncle as an apprentice diesel mechanic. That had always been the plan for him, I guess he wanted to waste no time getting started, while I was happy to go to the end of year 12. We then began living in different worlds and drifted apart. Working 9 to 5 under a truck and covered in oil was miles apart from studying, writing English essays and the horticulture and woodworking I was pursuing. After that, and after I finished school, we would cross paths, but only here and there.

I will never forget the random Saturday afternoon when one of my other mates turned up unannounced. I was chirpy, but he was solum and insisted I sit down. I asked why, only to be told of the horrible car accident that claimed my former best friend's life. I can't remember the details though, other than the car rolled and claimed him instantly, his immaculate and hard-earned green VS Commodore a write off. The funeral came and went, I can barely remember it. We would have been 19 or 20 at the time, I'm 37 now.

I have never really spoken about this since. The nightmares and dreams continue to haunt me though, causing me to relive what I lost over and over. Likewise reading this bloody book. If there is a positive, I guess the book prompted me to finally vent this from my system.

I can understand what you are going throug, I hope this doesnt bring up any unwanted thoughts.

I think you will find that most people have similar experiences, I think if you can make it through your teenage years without burying a freind you are lucky.

I lost 4 really good freinds when I was 18 all in seperate accidents over a 6 month period, 3 were passengers all in seperate car accidents, it was hard to come to terms with then and even though I am now 56 its still hits me as a unnessisary waste of life, hearing about the death of a freind or going to a funeral is still hard and brings up memories of freinds past.

Im now 56, I would say I have lost about 30 friends since, it does not get any easier and the memories of each 1 of them is brought up every time, I cant tell you how to cope as I dont even know, but I do have a drink for all of them at each wake, I know they all live on in the memories of all the people that had the pleasure to get to know them.

[DFB FGXR6]

As fate would have it, I had my monthly therapy session today, no prizes for guessing the topic discussed.

Other than yesterday's post, this would be the first time I have actually spoken about the loss of my mate in over 18 years. Not sure how helpful this has been, but it has lifted me out of the hole by venting the pressure.