Child Support - Page 3

MotherNatureVer2 · 06-05-2009, 09:30 AM

I wasnt going to get into this debate but cant hold back anymore........

My kids sperm donator (he cant be called a father as that would require actually being a parent!!! ) has changed his name by deed poll. I have battled CSA for about 8 years to get some kind of financial assistance from him to raise the kids.

I have now been told that I cant get a cent now or ever as he no longer uses his old tax file number, name or bank account.

Message in my story ....... All you have to do is change your name by deed poll and you dont have to pay a brass razoooo !!!!!!!!!

So as far as things catching up .......... I refuse to believe it !!!!!!! I can only hope Karma has some really great plans for him.

jonk · 06-05-2009, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MotherNature

I wasnt going to get into this debate but cant hold back anymore........

My kids sperm donator (he cant be called a father as that would require actually being a parent!!! ) has changed his name by deed poll. I have battled CSA for about 8 years to get some kind of financial assistance from him to raise the kids.

I have now been told that I cant get a cent now or ever as he no longer uses his old tax file number, name or bank account.

Message in my story ....... All you have to do is change your name by deed poll and you dont have to pay a brass razoooo !!!!!!!!!

So as far as things catching up .......... I refuse to believe it !!!!!!! I can only hope Karma has some really great plans for him.

MN, when I worked at Births, Deaths and Marriages in Adelaide years ago, it wasn't unknown about the name change thing. I remember one bloke who changed his name over 70 times ! You'd always get at least a hundred people in a day doing deed poll stuff... you can do this to get out of all sorts of stuff financial whatever - because your name in all government forms is in all capitals which is a way of binding you to any LAW in Oz(same thing happens in all western countries) change your name, it recreates a whole line of contract renewal - it's a bit esoteric the law behind it...

But next time take a look at an official Gov't form with your full name on it, it's in capitals for a reason.

It's basically you being registered as a legal entity to the state.

trick_xd · 06-05-2009, 02:41 PM

I am not the best guy in Oz .. I have 3 kids to 2 women .
I have a 13yo girl that lives with her mother and after going through court for nearly 9 years I called it quits 2 years ago as I was just wasting money ... I pay ... she gets legal aid .... I have court orders for me to see my daughter every second weekend and half holidays with pick up and drop off at the cop shop ( i did it there as the mother used to kick my car and stuff )
I pay CS and the mother gets smokes and the pokies ...
My daughter is 13 was living with her mother and now with her 21yo BF witch I am told by DHS that my daughter in Pregnant and yet I am the biggest around in her eyes as I do not agree ... (with her mother for 8 Years )

Now I also have a 5 and 7 yo and I used to have them 24/7 as they where taken of there mother as she burnt my boy when he was 1 on the wrist with her smoke as he would not let go of his toy ....In all the time I had these 2 kids I still payed my $16,940. per year for my first daughter ..
In the time ( 2 1/2years) I had my other 2 kids with me I had heaps of convos with child support about my first child AND what to do with the mother of my other 2 kids and I got onto a guy there that took the time to read the case file and talk to me with out being a about it
and it all come down to the 1 line in there book

YOU ARE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT ON YOUR POTENTIAL TO EARN ....... potential to earn is the key words on here ... I am just a Mechanic BUT I have a lot of degrees as well .... I CHOOSE to be a mechanic from when I left school and ALL my full time jobs have been as a mechanic untill now .

CS suck and I dont like it as the mothers sit around there kitchen table bitching about farthers and think of ways to start trouble and get on the phone to DHS or CS for a few hrs a week ... WHILE us guys are at work making some $$ so these women can continue to sit on there *** and get it ..... We dont have the time to get on the phone and wait on hold for 30 min .... our lunch time is over by then ... and the girls just make another cuppa and talk about what they can do tomorrow ....

anyway rant over .... I Hate it how my ex of 12 years wants money that I have now from a business that I opened ...... my bookkeeper pays me a small wage now .... BUGGA her

BIGJB · 06-05-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trick_xd

and it all come down to the 1 line in there book

YOU ARE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT ON YOUR POTENTIAL TO EARN ....... potential to earn is the key words on here ...

I hear ya brother.
Ain't that the biggest load of BS you have ever heard!!!!
My potential to earn now is half what it was but hey that doesn't matter
because I have done it once so obviously I can do it again.
Who cares that the economic climate isn't anything like it was 2 years ago.

Fev · 06-05-2009, 03:27 PM

this has Scared me right off!

No lil Fevs are comin around - i think i'll adopt instead if i wanted a kid!

vanman_75 · 06-05-2009, 03:48 PM

only 4 years left for me ...and i get my 24g net back a year
,csa is a joke ,im just glad its nearly over you will battle through mate .so many getting screwed on both sides with no one that can really help .

gtfpv · 06-05-2009, 03:52 PM

this thread is worse than end times conspiricies on youtube .

because it's actually factual .

and very very upsetting .

on the other hand , someone has to look after the children . ( full time) or shared .
it's sad that the rules only think of the children's (so called) potential finacial welfare . ( and not whats best for them) i guess because human nature mostly is SCUM . then the lower percentage , get well and truly screwed . i'm sorry for all who are in this boat, i only hope that in some way reward will be payed back . and your children will prosper . ( fight for that ) . cheers .
rights and wrongs kindof get laywayed .

CPOCSM · 06-05-2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanman_75

only 4 years left for me ...and i get my 24g net back a year
,csa is a joke ,im just glad its nearly over you will battle through mate .so many getting screwed on both sides with no one that can really help .

Yeppp that is the clincher - whilst it isnt CSA's fault as they are enforcing the policy handed down from the government. The fact is the policy hasnt changed for eons.

I only have 7 years left - then I can finally do with the extra $690 per fortnight...over $17000 to play with!!! What will I do???

By the by - no more little chiefs running around for me - I was neutered 12 months ago so lets see someone turn around and say the kid is mine!!!

Hooroo

MotherNatureVer2 · 06-05-2009, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

this thread is worse than end times conspiricies on youtube .

because it's actually factual .

and very very upsetting .

on the other hand , someone has to look after the children . ( full time) or shared .
it's sad that the rules only think of the children's (so called) potential finacial welfare . ( and not whats best for them) i guess because human nature mostly is SCUM . then the lower percentage , get well and truly screwed . i'm sorry for all who are in this boat, i only hope that in some way reward will be payed back . and your children will prosper . ( fight for that ) . cheers .
rights and wrongs kindof get laywayed .

One thing I can proudly and openy say is that everything my kids have I know I have provided. Not to say that its been easy .... it hasnt.... At least I can hold my head high & know that they are all now back with me & safe and that I have done all I can to raise thm properly.

Angry Beaver · 06-05-2009, 10:52 PM

...........................................

snap · 07-05-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angry Beaver

...........................................

I can not understand that when members want to say something about what ever it may be , others have to put in smart remarks or put rubbish on them. Sometimes people really do not know what is happening or need genuine advise and have no where else to go. Not everyone is an EINSTEIN, SO IF THERE IS NOTHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY ,WHY SAY ANYTHING???, HOW ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT IT , HOW TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING , FIX SOMETHING , OR JUST BASICALLY LEARN SOMETHING. Everybody learns something every day if they are willing to listen don't they???

Angry Beaver · 07-05-2009, 12:15 PM

Excuse me but I was not putting rubbish on anyone.

MotherNatureVer2 · 07-05-2009, 01:38 PM

/Me thinks someone needs a chill pill .....

I know this is an emotive topic & I am one who gets really stirred about it .... but seriously dude ...... I never took Angry Beaver to be putting rubbish on anyone.

CPOCSM · 07-05-2009, 04:39 PM

Concur - agree to disagree and all say that Child Support suck...

Think of happy thoughts like shiny force induced Windsors and Clevelands......

Hooroo

superpursuit83 · 07-05-2009, 04:42 PM

mmmm 1 year to go and I too will be $690.00 per fortnight better off for my 1 KID

superpursuit83 · 07-05-2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GT0132

I have checked that out and they wont....I have no issue with paying it, in fact I have more of an issue with parents diverting money into scehmes to minimise their income to avoid paying ANY child support whatsoever...Being single and in your 40's you tend to date women in the same position as you and its frightening the number of Dad's out there paying zilch and living the rich and famous lifestyle.

Here here,,,

I pay out $1300.00 per month and while I never miss a payment I have never received any more than $20 bucks for my stepdaughter. But CSA don't care that I have to support her as well. While the dad buys a new house, and job hops as soon as CSA catch him.

The latest comment from CSA was if I send my wife too work and I get less money they will charge me on my CAPACITY to earn more WTF!!

I had better stop now as I get a bit riled up with this topic.

1 Year to go WOOHOOO

vanman_75 · 08-05-2009, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CPOCSM

Yeppp that is the clincher - whilst it isnt CSA's fault as they are enforcing the policy handed down from the government. The fact is the policy hasnt changed for eons.

I only have 7 years left - then I can finally do with the extra $690 per fortnight...over $17000 to play with!!! What will I do???

By the by - no more little chiefs running around for me - I was neutered 12 months ago so lets see someone turn around and say the kid is mine!!!

Hooroo

yep i hate running dads but i pay my bit ...pity is that was my yearly gross 6 years ago and now its my maintenance bill ...i grow and she( the ex) grows with ... i want the best for my child ...but i think and fear shes not ,regardless of how much i give .....
ps my cousin got the snip and had twins 6 months on ,it aint 100 percent so wrap the old fella up its worth it

trick_xd · 08-05-2009, 01:06 AM

Dont get wrong , still pay .... I do all her school fees and all after school stufff and all DR stuff and clothes as well .

WHAT I dont do is try to give her mother any extra money for her to go to the pokies , pub and get her drugs .......
I WILL NOT SUPPORT HER HABBIT her son is the ring leader of the biggest drug ring in town ( thats what the paper , police and courts say )
my other kids I have a lot of the time now and even thow I dont have to I pay all there stuff and more.

DIFFWA · 08-05-2009, 01:14 AM

when my wife and I seperated for a little while we used the CSA as a guide i just told her if my daughter needed anything i would buy it and give them that, none of the of cash, formula, nappies, wipes or send me the DR's bill thats how i made sure the money was being spent on my daughter and not the wife to go to the pub

snap · 08-05-2009, 06:37 AM

Sorry about getting upset angry beaver ( love that name ) , it was the "welcome to the looney tunes hour" , I thought was towards this topic. I now realise it is your signiture.
My brain is totally numb over what has just happened to me. How can someone wait ten years before they tell you you are a parent , it is beyond belief. Now the CSA is treating me with contempt. Totally unbelievable ?????????

Angry Beaver · 08-05-2009, 07:55 AM

You will never recieve an answer to that question. Unfortunately some women are like that. What I hate is the stigma that you all have about us recieving the cs.

dave289 · 08-05-2009, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angry Beaver

You will never recieve an answer to that question. Unfortunately some women are like that. What I hate is the stigma that you all have about us recieving the cs.

thats right, you seem to recieve it but not the kids,thats what their gripe is,paying for you rather than their kids. :togo:

Angry Beaver · 08-05-2009, 01:25 PM

Well arn't we very judgemental when you do not know me nor do know my situation. The money I recieve goes directly to my kids. Not me! But I guess there is that stigma again.

Oh and by the way I have one child who is special needs and requires nappies and a specialised diet. The $70 I get for him does not even cover it. Who ends up putting in the difference. My mother. Why? because I cannot afford to. I am paying for all the rest of the requirements that the other kids need. Ie school clothes, school books etc. The list is endless. But do I sit there and ask the ex for more. No!!! why because he wouldnt pay anything else to his kids. Do I care no! because as mother nature said atlease I can turn around and say straight out that I do not need his help nor do I want it especially when it comes with the attachments of emotional and pschological control that he seems to want.

FRDGAL · 17-05-2009, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave289

thats right, you seem to recieve it but not the kids,thats what their gripe is,paying for you rather than their kids. :togo:

Well I've got a bit to say lol....

I understand that comment, even though it's harsh, I do understand it. You're right in one way because there are fathers out there paying child support and in the end it doesn't go where it's meant to BUT you're wrong about Angry Beaver. Your comment should have been a general one rather than directed specifically at her.

My ex will back me up here when I say that I spend just on every cent on my daughter. Every week the very first thing I buy for her are her everyday needs ie; food & nappies, which aren't cheap. And because it's her money, I also buy her a top or a pair of pants or socks or whatever it may be, as I said, he will back me up on that because not only has he seen it but he knows how I feel about maintenance being spent on a child. Now after all the neccesaties (<-- spelling) are bought, it leaves pretty much nothing for towards the roof over her head which he is obligated to also pay for. All the other things she's needed and still needs are out of my pocket, which is fair enough. I'm responsible for my child aswell obviously. Now, saying all that, if the father of my child decides to leave sole care of OUR daughter to me, not want access or to help in raising her I won't be feeling guilty if I take $20 of the money he pays me for her and get myself a haircut or a treat.

I know there are mothers/fathers out there doing the wrong thing with maintenance they receive and it disgusts me but I don't feel I do anything wrong if once in a while I buy myself lunch for $10 out of that money because I know that 99.9999999999% of the time, I do the right thing.

And then there's the 2 I'm putting through Year 10 and Year 12. Very expensive and I don't any government help for them yet their father who owns his own business manages to only have to pay $27 a month. Like Angry Beaver, atleast I can be proud and say that I'm doing everything I can for them and their futures.

Now the flip side. Their are parents out there paying way too much in support. A father paying $1500 month to an ex wife who got the house in settlement, which is fully paid for, has no expenses other than public schooling for 2 kids and, works part-time receives every government benefit available to her - you think she spends that on the kids? God no! Child Support need to take into account living arrangements and more for the payee because if she were paying for a roof over their heads then yes, but she owns the home, she owns her car, she has no debts, 2 young children in school, she receives some benefits + $1500 a month in support all because of what he earns. Now he is struggling because he had to get a house to live in, he has car expenses, bills and he has to pay $1500 a month to her. That's not fair to him, especially since she just up and chose to end the relationship without him having any say.

The whole child support system needs a huge overhaul and needs to be fairer. In some cases, the system contradicts itself.

Candyman2 · 17-05-2009, 09:26 AM

Always seems to be a hot topic on forums.

I went through 7 years of providing child support (~$2400/month) in addition to paying for other expenses the kids had.

With the mortgage I had, after living expenses, it left me with a few hundred per month.

I survived but it was tough.

I was lucky to have a good relationship with the ex (after the initial nasty month or so pre and post divorce) which made it easier.

I never questioned paying the support but I did question the way it was calculated and the shocking way I andmy ex were treated by CSA.

I can see both sides and there are some very sad stories on both sides as well. All I can say is try and leave the hate out of it, especially when the children are aware.

Luckily (perhaps not all luck) for myself and my children, things have worked out and my ex and I got back together and getting remarried very soon.

:

FRDGAL · 17-05-2009, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candyman2

Always seems to be a hot topic on forums.

That's true. It is, but rightfully so. And I blame the system mostly, not entirely, but mostly. It's all very confusing and sometimes very biased, in some cases towards the wrong parent. CSA will do everything they can in one persons case, and nothing for another person, who may be in the same or a similar situation. I dunno, it's just blah lol.

I'm glad things have worked out for you and your ex soon to be wife again. It's funny you say that though because just yesterday I was talking to someone who did the same thing. She split with her husband and they battled and hated eachother for a while, dated other people, and then became friends all over again and started fresh and now they're getting married again, well making plans to and they're happy. It works for some I guess.

Candyman2 · 17-05-2009, 09:57 AM

Can only speak for myself although I was a very active member of a number of support groups but anger about CS payments was a vent for the issues around the separation/divorce.

So many emotions come from the process.

It took me some time to get past that. Once I did, our relationship improved and the positive impact on the kids was amazing.

Sure, it was still tough financially but without the burden of the anger towards each other, it was so much easier.

My best mate did all he could to avoid paying CS. His ex was clearly a bad wife and mother but his attitude turned me off so much I no longer have much to do with him.

FPV+fteT3 · 17-05-2009, 10:21 AM

I read a lot about this subject on these forums and you gotta feel for some of the people out there. My story is somewhat different back in 1997 when my 2 girls were 4 & 6 the wife and I separated left her with everything we owned except my clothes and car she had her own clothes and car.

Basically my instructions to my solicitor was I dont want anything but my kids everything else is replaceable to this end he drew up a parenting plan he said you can have your kids every mon and tue the ex has them every wed and thurs and you have alternating weekends of fri, sat, sun. So in short I have a 5 day stint and a 2 day every 2 weeks and so does she.

We both get to see the kids grow and we do not pay either of us maintenance but we share any out of pocket expensed like school fees, braces for teeth etc..... There are about 10 points in our plan like we cannot move too far away as to make the girls change schools etc. The girls have their own stuff at both homes and the changes occur after school eg when it's monday the ex sends them to school and they come home to my place.

The court was easy they looked at the plan asked if we both agreed and stamped the deal to change anything woul require a revisit to court. We both take them on holidays as you do changing the program to suit my ex and I get along ok and did what was best for the kids with no spite involved the girls are 16 and 18 now and still happily live at both addresses I think they like the idea of a break from mum or dad.

I used to recieve from the dark side a letter saying the amount I had to pay the ex was 0 now they just leave us alone the kids are happy the ex is happy and I have moved on bought a home 2 nice cars and have been allowed to get on with my life without being sent broke by a beaurocrat and system that really doesn't give a toss about anyone at all.

When we did our parenting plan they were a new thing but for us it was a blessing and I would recommend to any dad providing you are prepared to PARENT your children give it a go. By parent I mean be there for them not at work all hours and not in the shed but being the best dad you can be show some interest in what they do at school go to open days sports days etc you may not be able to go to all of them or stay all day but just get involved the kids will love you for it.

Regards
steve

Candyman2 · 17-05-2009, 10:30 AM

We had an agreed plan. CSA were still involved with notifications and that part was very useful as you had formal documents of the financial obligatons.

We tried alternate weeks and weekends but it really unsettled the kids (who were in their early teens).

At first they both lived with me, then one lived with me and one with the wife. Then, both with the wife full time and I kept in touch almost every day.

That worked best for us and the kids.

Stability is always said to be the best for children.

FPV+fteT3 · 17-05-2009, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candyman2

We had an agreed plan. CSA were still involved with notifications and that part was very useful as you had formal documents of the financial obligatons.

We tried alternate weeks and weekends but it really unsettled the kids (who were in their early teens).

At first they both lived with me, then one lived with me and one with the wife. Then, both with the wife full time and I kept in touch almost every day.

That worked best for us and the kids.

Stability is always said to be the best for children.

Our plan worked because we both wanted it to work and as for stable the kids have been doing the same thing for 12 years both have achieved well at school Emma was school captain and Kate has a job at a solicitors (she was hired after doing work experience thru school ) and is on the way to a legal career life is what you make it. If your kids want to be with you, you will have no problems the kids are not to blame for our problems but as parents we have to do whats right for them. I realise that a plan will not work for everyone but if both parents are committed it is a very real alternative.

My ex and I get along reasonably well and both have good reationships with the girls and would not change anything, the girls are aware that when they turn 16 they can decide what they want to do legally and it says a lot about my ex and me that they dont want to choose one over the other and are happy to continue the way they have for the last 12 yrs for that both Lyndelle and I are happy and feel we both did a good job. I was joking around with Kate yesterday about when she moves out what I will do with her room she said why would I move out if anything dad it's more likely I would live here and not at mums cause I have the biggest room and your quick in the bathroom.